The second reference that John uses to refer to himself as " the disciple whom Jesus loved" is at the crucifixion.  Jesus tells his mother that that John is now her son and she is his mother. the fact that Jesus refers to him as his brother is HUGE.  When Jesus refers to Peter and reinstates him  back into the fellowship, he uses 2 forms of Greek word for love: phileo and agape. The first two " feed my sheep" commands are agape, but the last is phileo, or brotherly. Jesus is basically saying to John " You get it". You're are my disciple. He entrusts his own mother, to John. The Scripture follows by saying  John , from that time on, took her into his home. John's life is changed by this statement. He took Jesus's words seriously. 

Do we?