Leaning Against Jesus

Remember for a moment your first boyfriend or girlfriend. Remember what it was like in those first few months of dating. Your mind is consumed with thoughts of him. You long for the moment when you can see him again. You can hardly function in your daily routine without your mind drifting towards that last intimate phone call or romantic escapade. You remember all of the hand holding, the gentle peck on the cheek or the arm around your shoulder. In hindsight, you wonder how you ever survived the day before that relationship.

I’m sure as you remember the fondness in the beginning phase of that relationship, your mind quickly jolts to the end of it. The gut wrenching pain that accompanied the words “ this just isn’t working out between us” or “ It’s not you, it’s me”, or the dreaded “I just want to be friends.” You vowed you would never love again. In hindsight, you wonder how you ever survived the days after that relationship.

Maybe you were lucky enough to have married your first boyfriend or girlfriend.   But you are probably like the majority of us who hit a home run in love once, only to strike out a few months later. I can safely assume that in the first few months after the break-up you felt like you were going to die. I’m sure those once romantic thoughts turned into thoughts of despair and desperation, saying to yourself “I will never find another love like him.” Eventually your heart moves on to the next cute guy on the college campus or working the cash register at your job. And then you love again.

John had that relationship with Jesus. John was one of the lucky ones to be a part of the inner circle of Jesus. He followed him wherever he went, saw things only he and two other people saw and sat and learned from the Master. The Bible gives many illustrations of the intimate relationship John had with Jesus. But, none are quite as tender or revealing as John 13:25: “Leaning back against Jesus, he asked him ‘Lord, who is it?’”

Because the twelve are eating a meal, it was customary for them to recline. However, only one disciple chose to lean back against His bosom and speak to him privately. Only John dared to enter Jesus’ personal space and ask him such a personal question in such an intimate way. Compared to today, if someone decided to enter my personal space, I would automatically want to back away from that person. But, Jesus doesn’t do this. Instead, He chooses to honor John’s question and answer it plainly. Jesus was famous for answering a question with a question. He was also known for explaining things in stories to make the listener wrestle through things and draw his own conclusion. This time, he wanted everyone at the meal to know who his betrayer was going to be. He also wanted John to be the first to know. He didn’t shrink away when John got close, or turn his face from him. He answered him quickly and plainly. 

Do you have the type of relationship with Jesus that you feel comfortable leaning against Jesus or backing away from him?