If you want to run the marathon, you have to run one lap first

I embarked on my first run outside in what has been quite a long time. I strapped on my i -pod, tightened my sneakers, and was off like a shot. I made it all the way to an impressive half way around one lap and stopped, incredibly winded and even more discouraged. "I'll never make it" I said to myself. I almost gave up. But, then I said " I'm not going to let this get me down." I willed myself around the rest of the way and made it around one lap. It might not be a big accomplishment to you, but to me, it was more than just a simple jog, but it was a symbol of something greater. It was a release of my fear and doubt that I could endure to the end. I would love someday to run a half marathon. Maybe i'll get there. maybe I won't. But, one thing is for sure, if I want to run the marathon, I have to start with running one lap.
That goes for the Christian life, too. At times it is so engrossing and life gets so difficult, and it leaves me winded and discouraged, unsure I can even take one more step. But, my willingness to shake off the fear and endure to the end makes running the race all the sweeter. Going through each day doing what is right may not seem like much, but I have to start somewhere. If I want to reach the finish line and into my savior's arms, I have to start by running one lap.
Are you ready to run your one lap today?

What's the Favor of God?

I was stuck in bed yesterday worth what felt like a potential sinus infection. When I'm sick, I tend to do things I wouldn't normally do. For example, I watched hours and hours of mind numbing television and took two naps within an hour and a half. In between these two napes, I flipped back and forth between the "Christian" programs and "secular" programs. I don't normally watch the "Christian" station, but since it was during the church hour, I decided to give it a whirl in the hopes of hearing an inspired word from God that would change me a little more into my Savior. As message after message droned on, I came to a realization. I really didn't see much difference between the christian and the non-christian. The sermons on the Christian station talked about the same things non-christians are talking about: the bad economy, fear, doubt, comfort, hope. The only difference was on the christian station, the people wore nicer suits and clapped accordingly at the pastor's shouting proclamations. Granted, the Bishop or pastor peppered their words with Scripture (some of which were taken out of context) and belief in Jesus and ended each message with the same invitation to invite the audience to accept Jesus into their life. One Bishop even proclaimed that if i sent in a seed of $130 God would unleash unusual favor on me for the next 130 days meaning wealth and prosperity). It made me wonder: if this is all that Christians have to say on these matters, what does the non-christian really have to hope for? Furthermore, if all God is interested in is giving me his favor, what about all the favor reserved for his 12 followers? Where did all of that go? Lastly, if favor is only material wealth, what about the poor around the world who have more faith in God that I have ever dreamt of having in Him?
That Gospel doesn't seem to be worth dying for, does it?

Emerging from my blog writing hiatus (for now..)

Some of you might be wondering if I have fallen off the face of the earth. The answer to that is no. I am still writing, and am very encouraged in my endeavors thus far, I just haven't shared any of that on here. I have been feeling a bit pulled in different directions and am feeling a bit overwhelmed in the process. I may wax and wane on my blog writing for now, but i am still writing nonetheless. I am working on the designing, editing and revising process of the first book Finding your Place in the Story of God while beginning the writing phase of my current project Don't forget the Parchments, which is allowing people to learn from the histories of their ancestors in order to mentor the future generations. It is daunting to say the least. In addition, I am taking classes to eventually become a day care director.
(Phew, I am tired just writing all that...)
But, God is good as always. whether in the overwhelmed times or the bored out of my mind times, He is still speaking, and it is for those moments that I am most grateful. I hope you, dear reader, who took a moment to stumble upon this blog post, well.
On a side note, the publishers are asking me for a subtitle to the Finding your place in the Story of God. I am thinking I should change the title before making a subtitle. Any suggestions?

Be a Defender

Lately I have been dealing with a situation in my professional life where someone was using an inappropriate tone with someone else. The situation became one in which (since I witnessed it) I had to intervene. This situation was not new to me, but was becoming an abusive one, and I needed to act quickly to protect all involved. As I watched the situation unfold, I heard God say " Be a defender." Deuteronomy 10:18 says "He defends the cause of the fatherless and the widow, and loves the foreigner residing among you..."
This seems like an odd request, given I am not a father, or a widow. It also is in sharp contrast to verses like Matthew 5:38-42 that says " “You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.' But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well. If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you."
Most Christians believe we should always "turn the other cheek". But, what if the situation is becoming abusive? Does Jesus advocate for victims to swallow their pride and security in order to be in compliance with this biblical principle? While I do think we should hold loosely to our possessions, our pride and our self-image, I think there is a line between abuse and grace. Although grace should abound, abuse should not. Sometimes the best thing that I can do as a Christian is to stand up for those who cannot stand up for themselves. Which leads me to think " which do I defend more often: my rights or the rights of others?"

The beauty that emerges

I've been reflecting on a couple of songs lately. One is sung by a non-christian, struggling with the pain after a bad relationship. The other, sung by a Christian, also dealing with the pain of repentance. Both artists are similar in age and appearance, and both were named breakout artists of 2010, in their respective genres.
Look closely at the lyrics.
They are similar in subject matter, but have one main difference.
The difference is hope.
The first struggles to survive and triumph over her pain. the second, suffers but for a moment, but knows beauty will eventually emerge.
Where are you? Are you struggling to triumph, or do you know the pain last for a moment, and beauty will eventually emerge?

Jar of hearts by Christina Perri
I know I can't take one more step towards you
Cause all that's waiting is regret
And don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore
You lost the love I loved the most

I learned to live half alive
And now you want me one more time

And who do you think you are
Running 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are

I hear you're asking all around
If I am anywhere to be found
But I have grown too strong
To ever fall back in your arms

And learn to live half alive
And now you want me one more time

And who do you think you are
Running 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are
Dear, it took so long just to feel alright
Remember how to put back the light in my eyes
I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed
Cause you broke all your promises
And now you're back
You don't get to get me back

And who do you think you are
Running 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Don't come back at all

And who do you think you are
Running 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
Don't come back for me
Don't come back at all

Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?

Show Me by Audrey Assad

You could plant me like a tree beside a river
You could tangle me in soil and let my roots run wild
And I would blossom like a flower in the desert
But for now just let me cry
You could raise me like a banner in a battle
Put victory like a fire behind my shining eyes
I would drift like falling snow over the embers
But for now just let me lie

Bind up these broken bones
Mercy bend and breathe me back to life
But not before You show me how to die

Set me like a star before the morning
Like a song that steals the darkness from a world asleep
And I’ll illuminate the path You’ve laid before me
But for now just let me be

Let me go like a leaf upon the water
Let me brave the wild currents flowing to the sea
And I will disappear into a deeper beauty
But for now just stay with me
God for now just stay with me

What's on your Playlist?

I have heard this question answered on itunes and other music websites. Anyone who owns an i-pod knows this refers to what music is being played the most and the most readily available- the music that resonates, illuminates and changes their lives.
Now, think about this word in terms of what is going on in your head. What thoughts, positive or negative, are changing your life? What messages are "playing" in your head on a regular basis? Are they rooted in the truth of scripture, or are they the subtle work of the enemy? Are those thoughts, and ultimate feelings and actions, changing you life in a good way or a bad way?
The bible says to "be transformed the the renewing of you minds..." This is for good reason. Change your "playlist" to Scripture verses. Recitation of Scripture will change your life(and your heart) for the better. Change starts in the head. It ends in the heart.
What's on your playlist?

The Verdict is in... for real

At long last I have finally spoken to the publisher. For those of you who have kept up with my ongoing saga, I'm sure you are waiting in suspense I have been for so many months.So, I won't keep you waiting anymore. Bottom line:
It's a no.
However, I came away very encouraged.
Why?
She began the conversation apologizing for the long wait, which I graciously accepted. Then, she proceeded to go page by page critiquing my work. She told my about my wording on some things that were confusing to her or needed to be rephrased. She also asked me to define my audience more clearly, and that would help with some of the words that I used. She also told me some ideas and paragraphs that she thought were stellar. After a half hour long conversation, I asked her the question burning in my mind: Where do we stand now?
She said 5 years ago she could take new authors like myself and take them under her wing and give them the start in the publishing business. She said they don't do that anymore. Therefore, there was nothing more her and I could talk about because I don't have the large platform they look for (authors like Francis Chan speak to hundreds of thousands of people and I don't have the same exposure). But she said, if I would like, she could take a look at my revisions and give her opinion on them. She also asked me if I had sent it to anyone else and when I replied no, she said make sure I keep pursuing it. She said I have something to say and that if I frame it in a tighter way, I could have something that could be published.
She also gave me a list of freelance editors that she knows that I could use. She encouraged me to return to the same conference I attended when I saw her (She Speaks)and re-pitch the second draft to another publisher. She became so engaged with my testimony about my parents that she actually asked me how my relationship was with them. So, I guess I left her wanting more, which is the goal of any author.
Overall, I walked away more encouraged. When she sent the list of editors in an e-mail, she thanked me for my listening ear and said it bodes well for my writing, and said I had a lot of good ideas and passion about my topic and hoped I was willing and able to pursue my manuscript.
Please keep praying as I consider what to do next: self- publish, return to a conference or give it to Zondervan publishing, who invited me to send a proposal when I met with them last year.